Fine Tuning my EARS for Jesus!

This morning, I woke up and did not hear God tell me that He wanted me to live Through Him, With Him, and In Him. Or maybe I wanted to hear Him tell me He wanted to live through me, with me and in me.  :(

After practicing some French...in bed.  A trip to Facebook, and then the store, the washing machine and outside to hang things....breakfast with Dave...and then I remembered and went back to bed.

I looked at the Crucifix on our wall.....and the ceiling made of 2 inch wide boards I sanded over 6 times to prepare for installation. Then the Crucifix again.  I opened my Magnificat , and began to say my morning prayers.  I find it is St. Benedicts feast day. The man of Prayer, Work and Study. His Rule says "get up in the morning when you open your eyes".  Among other things.   Oh.....I look at the crucifix again.    Jesus was available for me at 6:30, and again at 8:00. The 8:00 appointment could have happened at three different parishes all within a 5 minutes of my home.  Not only would I have heard it, I would have been given the physical means for accomplishing this Great Mystery. 

Last summer, a priest told me I needed to believe that God loves me.  How does one do that?  It isn't a doing thing.  It is a being very interior and in fact I think Quiet!  I lay there now looking at the boards I sanded full length one summer, only to have to do it again the next, after they wintered outside.   How do I really love you God.  By being available? ...being with?....saying so?.....giving service to others?....gifting others with time talent and needed, and not so needed material goods?  

Faith....Hope...Love.... I don't feel loved right now.  I don't feel important or needed.  I feel "in the way".  It doesn't matter what I feel.

I would like David to believe me when I tell him he needs to eat.  I would like him to believe me so much that he can stomach things he believes to be icky to him.

I would like it if only..... Oh there is the "IF ONLY..." Fallacy!  Caught you Satan. 

"I can TRUST YOU Jesus!" "I Can quietly believe that you love me and that all things will work out!"  Not to, would be foolish, it is a beautiful day in the neighborhood!!  

Intimacy Part II

The Communication of the Five Love Languages

Introvert/ Extrovert

Gifting Receiving Formation

Quiet

Seeking and Finding

  In early 2011 I ordered a CD of a talk given at the Northwest Catholic home School conference of 2010.  Sculpting Your Communication Muscles given by Tina Crosby.  I listened and then gave away her talk to my two college attending daughters who in turn shared with friends resulting in lively discussions and practice of the communication muscles.


Here are the  "Communication Muscles"
1. Direct: says what is clear and directly. Example: the child in "the Emperors New Clothes". 
2. Narrative:  Narration is formation, Narratives tell stories and drive direct and logical communicators crazy because they take so long to get to the point, and sometimes forget the point.
3. Logic: from point a. to b. to c.
4. Empathetic: listeners.

When I filter Tina's talk through all the other wisdom I have been hearing lately I hear her say that intimacy can be found when we employ, not one, but all the communication muscles, exercising them regularly, hearing how others communicate, and  the practice of appreciation for others' strengths.
                                                      Susan Cain Author of "Quiet"

My daughter Karen attended St. Thomas the Apostle parish in Grand Rapids .  In 2012 she heard these homilies on Intimacy.  A persons understanding of intimacy can really mess up the ability to communicate with others effectively. In the same way that a bad prescription in a pr. of glasses must be corrected by an optometrist, our understanding of intimacy must be transformed and transfigured by Christ. In the intimacy of my union with Christ, every relationship I have can be brought to the Holy Trinity.  The practice of bringing my relationships to God gives me faith, hope and Love for those persons, the event-ual results are unimportant to me,  outside of the fact that EVERY relationship we have with others, is a means of Sanctity, our friends, our family, those we like and those we have no affinity for.   

Fr. Chelich and Tina Crosby inspire this petition: "God, give me the grace to know and give ear to you, speaking to the best Man in me, even when the person delivering the message, is not skilled at communicating, for so often, communciation is not MY best skill!"

 Like Dr. Susan Muto in the quote below, our seeking and finding intimacy with the Lord, He transforms and transfigures not only my own heart but the heart of beloved friends and relatives (and maybe an enemy or two ).  I must entrust to him in the context of my intimate prayer and surrender; an acknowledgment of not understanding God's ways, and admitting to "not knowing what is in a persons heart",  receiving the consolation from God, that he 'thirsts for (my) expressions of Faith Hope and Love'.   In that entrusting, I become more clearly the person he has created me to be, from all eternity. The hidden Jesus comes courageously in view. Friendships and marriages and all other relationships have the potential for transformation in that kind of light.

Have a joyous Ash Wednesday, and praying for your faithful perseverance.



What matters is the deepening of our relationship with our Lord and in the light of that mysterious intimacy all else eventually works itself out. ~~Susan Muto~~

Silence

 

Mother Teresa wrote, “We need to find God, and He cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we care in our active life. We need silence to touch souls.”

One of my daughters and I share a habit of introspection; an analysis of persons, events and things, in relation to self, present, past and future.  The future part is really tough, “What do you want of me Lord, right now?   What do I want from myself? And the wrong question to ask some times comes up as well,  “What do you want of others?”   That question is most often inappropriate.    

That same daughter had an Epiphany, I am so happy she shared it because it I needed to hear it!    She went swimming and in the silence of her swim, she heard and sensed God working on her whole being.  In the rest of the water, she was able to surrender to His work, in with and throughout her whole person.

I have this same experience when I go floating in the lake.  The analytical habit is set aside for the more effective surrender to God’s will.   This floating becomes time to re-order and re-member God’s infinite love for me, and His providential care for me! Then, in awe of the sky above and the pine trees in my peripheral vision, I REmember my love for God, resting in that knowing.  But this can be an every moment experience.  Brother Lawrence writes of it in, “Practicing the Presence”  and Thomas Kelly writes about it in his classic, Testament of Devotion.

Said daughter and I are growing up together.  She is far away from home and I have been withdrawing my presence from friends I have known for years. I quit Face book during Lent and deleted my account on my Mother’s birthday in the spring as a way to honor her.  It has changed my day to day a great deal.  I have silenced a lot of noise in my head that did not need to be there.  But then why is it so hard to relate to old friends face to face?   

Some relationships are like Face book, the good and the bad.  Sentimental stroking, a rehashing of news, a bemoaning of our inability to be “good” and a tirade of what’s wrong with the world and even me.   When the most effective human action might be to shut the mouth, still the imagination, and the analytical mind and let God re-order and re-member our beings into the Vine of Eternal Life.  God is in control, He is able to love in with and through us, but He can’t if we are too busy thinking it is all up to, and about us. The Self Serving, Self Shielding Pride Form* is the child throwing a tantrum about something the Parent is holding out for the child’s good.  The child is thinking for/in place of, the parent and has no space to receive the gift that is offered.  We need to still the wild imagination of the child and place The Holy Trinity in that time and space of the mind, going there regularly to be held and kissed, being reassured of my purpose; to love God, THAT IS MY PURPOSE, not the fruit of that love!  The interior snuggles with the Holy Trinity, produce peace, gentleness, and the person I was created to be for others, the fruit of my life.  When my love relationship with God is intimate, the other relationships; with people things and events, will be ordered to His will. God does not want me to coerce them. Sometimes withdrawing from those relationships where I am asking “God what do you want of them?” (None of my business) is the best I can do.

New Dialogue with God:  “Do you love me Lord?  Show me again please.  Let me know that your favorite indoor recreation is to love me as I go about the everyday cleaning and cooking and being available to the formation field you have gifted me with. Let Your love for myself and others distract me from my grasping coercive habits of the mind a will!”

 

*Muto, van Kaam term

 

Minding My Own Business

 Reflections on Todays Readings

Reading 1 1 Tm 4:12-16

Beloved:
Let no one have contempt for your youth,
but set an example for those who believe,
in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.
Until I arrive, attend to the reading, exhortation, and teaching.
Do not neglect the gift you have,
which was conferred on you through the prophetic word
with the imposition of hands by the presbyterate.
Be diligent in these matters, be absorbed in them,
so that your progress may be evident to everyone.
Attend to yourself and to your teaching;
persevere in both tasks,
for by doing so you will save
both yourself and those who listen to you.

 

When I attempt to contribute out of my home, many times, my social presence seems to be an utter failure.  And that is just fine, I have come to expect it.  My husband is well aware of my attempts and reflections after my failures.  I have a large family and I have trouble balancing individual needs with grace, someone gets too much or too little of some form of attention, sometimes everyone.  When he read the readings this morning during his prayer he needed to read it out loud for me. "This one is for you, (in other words) what you have been saying, you just have to follow your own vocation." Focus is just not one of my strong points, but I will not give up. How can I keep my focus?  By not focusing on the task, but on the Task Master.  He knows better than I know myself what is best for me to do at any given time, I can't hear my Lord unless I have an appreciative heart for His infinite goodness.  Next reading....

 

Responsorial Psalm PS 111:7-8, 9, 10

R. (2) How great are the works of the Lord!
The works of his hands are faithful and just;
sure are all his precepts,
Reliable forever and ever,
wrought in truth and equity.
R. How great are the works of the Lord!
He has sent deliverance to his people;
he has ratified his covenant forever;
holy and awesome is his name.
R. How great are the works of the Lord!
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
prudent are all who live by it.
His praise endures forever.
R. How great are the works of the Lord!

There is more!

Gospel Lk 7:36-50

A certain Pharisee invited Jesus to dine with him,
and he entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table.
Now there was a sinful woman in the city
who learned that he was at table in the house of the Pharisee.
Bringing an alabaster flask of ointment,
she stood behind him at his feet weeping
and began to bathe his feet with her tears.
Then she wiped them with her hair,
kissed them, and anointed them with the ointment.
When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this he said to himself,
“If this man were a prophet,
he would know who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him,
that she is a sinner.”
Jesus said to him in reply,
“Simon, I have something to say to you.”
“Tell me, teacher,” he said.
“Two people were in debt to a certain creditor;
one owed five hundred days’ wages and the other owed fifty.
Since they were unable to repay the debt, he forgave it for both.
Which of them will love him more?”
Simon said in reply,
“The one, I suppose, whose larger debt was forgiven.”
He said to him, “You have judged rightly.”
Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon,
“Do you see this woman?
When I entered your house, you did not give me water for my feet,
but she has bathed them with her tears
and wiped them with her hair.
You did not give me a kiss,
but she has not ceased kissing my feet since the time I entered.
You did not anoint my head with oil,
but she anointed my feet with ointment.
So I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven;
hence, she has shown great love.
But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little.”
He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
The others at table said to themselves,
“Who is this who even forgives sins?”
But he said to the woman,
“Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Dave: I wonder what the expression on Jesus' face was, while the woman was bathing His feet with her tears and wiping them with her hair.

Me: I don't think Jesus was thinking about His 'social presence'; what people were thinking about all of this.  I think He was thinking of the woman and how beautiful her appreciation for His love was.  I think He was tenderly loving her by allowing her to thank Him. What a wonderful dynamic to meditate on.  The Pharisee's comment was an ugly, obnoxious attempt to interrupt the Love Will of the Father.

Those ugly interruptions happen all the time in social settings, and in our private thoughts. Jesus, help us to learn how to take the moments back into the ordered will of God and His infinite Love for all of us.  I hope today, the Love Will of the Father, will be known and practiced. I hope I can mind my own business; keeping to who and what I love, know and am called to serve....right in front of my face.


 

The Interior Castle, the Family Castle, Respecting and Protecting the Jewels Within MODERATUS

Boldt Castle, Heart Island, New York

This is a continuation of these previous posts. Daughters, Drop in Visitor, and Brave 

I think I am going to place a sign on my door, "home of five princess'".  I need a reminder of this reality, as the mother of five beautiful daughters, the word princess calls to mind a value that the world does not often see, and I too, am blinded by this world view; objectification.  Rather than focus on the great Love God wishes to bestow upon us, in us, and through us, I focus on the avoidance of all that is evil.  In the same way, rather than see my girls as princess' I might think of the fortress like boundaries that I must impose to keep them from thinking of them selves as objects, or others to think of or treat them as such.

Yes, that is the way of fear.  And fear can make us crazy.  Moderation, the Latin form Moderatus means to keep within bounds, restrain. Again from the word Mode, the Latin, Modus, a manner of acting, doing, or being.  Who wants to be crazy? I would prefer to live within the boundaries that remind us who we are. The Fortress like boundaries are not a bad thing, it is just that the emphasis in on the fortress, and not on the jewels inside.

Fr. Robert Barron in his DVD "Untold Blessings" compares Jesus the Christ as Warrior King, with the worldly view of warrior and king.   Christ was Obedient to the Love will of the Father in all things.  Being born of a woman in a stable, a life of Poverty and Chaste Love, sourced in, again, the Love Will of the Father.  So too there is a Fortress that is otherworldly. I do not have to give up that narration.  You see, I am the queen mother of my home, I know I don't do it perfectly, but I know who I and my children can go to for The Queens guidance, the Queen of Peace.   Jesus is The King, but my husband stands in his place in this Domestic Church, just as a priest stands in the place of Jesus for a Parish.   The King and Queen are not self seeking, or fortress building, they are forming souls.  The Focus is not what is seen, but what is unseen, the interior castle.  Like Jesus the Warrior, the Prince of Peace, this King and Queen seek Ladies Poverty, Chastity and Obedience; to the Love Will of the Father.  The Castle is meant to protect the hearts and minds of the inhabitants from the Usurper. Our home is open, we aren't perfect at the welcome mat.  We have a lot to learn about civility, but we practice. Civility goes both ways, our home is open to the stranger, but we can't control the perception.  We can invite those who are afraid, to take courage and slay the Dragon at the door that is the liar and author of fear.

I have five beautiful daughters, one is called to the single life.  She is convinced of it and has a thread of direction that will get her to what God has in mind for her.  She is invaluable to us in her wise ways with others. The other four,  believe they have a vocation in married life.  But that is dependent upon the invition of another. 

This family is not shaped by the culture directly.  Though we can't help but be influenced by it. The struggle to know the truth about many things is really a struggle against the belief of the day, and what is true and good. It is good for a Mother and Father to guide and direct that social life of their children to what is good true and beautiful.  When they become adults making choices that may affect them and the parents for the rest of their lives, it isn't unreasonable to continue to have a hand in that guidance.  Think grandparent raising grandchild of divorced children. OR unmarried daughters child.  The word that comes to mind is Insurance, pay with your time patience and loving concern now, or pay later when there is less receptivity. Tell me a story that this narrative is good for all, because it is VERY common and not attractive to me! I would not mind babysitting my grandchildren, but I want a Husband and Father in the lives of my daughters and their children!  I also want what I had with my in-laws, a loving relationship, they are actually the first persons I hope to see in Eternity.   Really, do I have another duty that is more critical? NO! 

Cinderella and Prince Phillip is the narrative.  The above castle is not Disneyland's Cinderella castle, it is a modest castle, yet beautiful.  Large enough to welcome the stranger and the friend, who has the courage to seek and to find.

Cinderella's parents feared for her life and gave her to others to raise in hopes that their Princess would be spared.  They also chose a Prince for her with hopes for her future.  I wouldn't get away with signing any of my daughters off to any Prince, children are not objects to 'give away'.  The free will of both parties is always a loving transendent dynamic that even God does not take away. Today women and men seek eachother out alone....outside the home. Yet in the area of intimate friendships, I am not comfortable allowing my young adult women to seek alone, as long as they are living with us.  The world has lost the narrative of protecting the chosen virtues of  Ladies Poverty(Simplicity) Chastity and Obedience, in the castle of the home.  Today, that narrative is mine. The welcome sign is out for those who have the courage to swim out of the moat of control, pleasure, and "my way or the highway" mentality, take up the sword to battle with ones imagination of what it is like to get to know a Princess in the home of her parents, and enter  into Christian communion with this family, we have no expectations of a lifelong relationship, some we hope for and some we will just enjoy the pleasure of another image of Christ in our home for the moment.

The practical rules for persons parents don't know well:
1. Come and see.
2. Be with us, eat, work, play and hang with us.
3. If you take one of our beloved daughters out, respect our need to protect by going out with others,  tell us where you are going and respect the curfew. 10:00 PM
4. . If you are walking out to the park just the two of you, 45 minutes max.

If the daughter is older and independent, these rules do not apply.  I am confident that they will choose persons that know that marriage is not (the other fortress) 'all about me." the ego drama that plans the 'happy everafter,' without much thought to the wider world.  "It's about, my house, my career, my kids, if I have any, my marriage is good as long as I am happy with what I get out of it."   My hope is that they are generous Princess' bringing them home for us to know the unique imago dei that they have discovered and love.

Anger Management 101

I read Pearl S Buck's Portrait of a Marriage while nursing my first baby, pregnant with the second 26 years ago.  It was so thought provoking, in that third year of my own marriage that I sent it off to my Mother in law, because I wanted to discuss it with her.  She disliked it so much she felt insulted that I had sent it to her. : (  Dad had told me once that she had been the sole parent in the raising of their 8 children.  His very much appreciated contribution was a successful OB practice in San Diego.

 The husband in this novel was not a big contributor, financially or emotionally.  He was an artist, and the wife worked very hard on their farm to provide for them. While administering a whooping to her oldest son, a teenager, the father walked in.  He had never seen her so mad and he tried to stop her.  The son interrupted and told his dad angrily that he had deserved the belt and if he couldn't stomach it, to leave.  Retelling the story, it seems sick.  Yet this was not a sick relationship. This was a telling of the dynamics of parenting, and parenting alone. Of anger, and it's affects on others.  No one likes to be angry. The son had made an already spent mother's life more difficult by his carelessness and she only knew how to inflict pain so he would not forget to do it again! The father was an artist, he lived to see beauty and retell it in his paintings. He knew nothing of the discomfort of hard labor. This "Portrait of a Marriage" is not unique to fallen man, wife raises a family and husband does what he is 'inspired' to do, without getting his hands dirty with the everyday duties and conflicts. Of course there are other stories where the father is the one who lays down his life for an unknowing wife and children.  Or the overindulgent mother and the husband whose attempts at forming children are sabotaged by the same. Where is Peace?

No one likes anger.  I don't know anyone who enjoys being angry or being in the presence of someone who is angry.  But when self serving, self protecting, self shielding anger is ruled out of the event, say for the anger of one who is being denied a drink or some other addictive substance, being upset with the person for being angry, or trying to suppress anger, or worse yet, focusing on the emotion of the inflamed person, is not helpful!   Anger is not beautiful, it is not something that the soft artist wants to look at.  He closes his eyes and walks away to find beauty while the opportunity for self giving love and peace, is lost.   The artist/husband would have redeemed himself if he had asked the son what he had done to anger his beloved wife so, and asked the wife to hand over the belt for him to give it to the lass. He would have made more points if he apologized for not involving himself in the past and made himself present to both wife and children in the labor of love that family is.

Rules that govern a family's emotions are dysfunctional.  on the other side of that coin, families that are ruled by emotions are also dysfunctional. 

Here are the healthy alternatives to the above: Conflict is allowed, your emotions are neither good nor bad, they just are, feel them, and if possible learn from them, then move on.  Being human is a journey into Eternity through, with and in, Christ.  Threats to that union, in ones heart, or ones beloved spouse, child or friend, can turn an otherwise calm soul into a raging bear.  When an angry person experiences the compassion of a calm friend or spouse, we are one step closer  to practical solutions to nurturing our relationships with one another, and one step closer to heaven.

The Sacred Space of the Mind

Memory, Imagination, Anticipation

Moma MIA

 

 

Sanctity depends on an attentive presence to people, things and events.  Placing the every day moments before Jesus and Re-membering that Jesus wants to be my filter eludes me, most of the time.   I can begin recalling and then re-membering my life in Christ to the every day moments of life by reverencing the reality that time and space is desecrated or made Sacred by habits of maintenance such as maintaining the Sacred Space in a room, by keeping it beautiful.  On exiting a room I can ask myself , "Is there something I can do to leave this room more beautiful than when I came." 

 Today I have an occasion to reflect on the imagination.  The same applies.  If I can not think well of someone, then Jesus is the one I should fill my mind with. If I am worried about an event or a combination of persons, events and things and or circumstances.... Jesus is the ONLY one who can save a situation, a heart, He restores all our 'stores'. Our store of patience, compassion, forgiveness, etc.  


Fr. Adrian van Kaam gifted us with the articulation of MIA.  The purpose of our Memory is to serve our salvation. We remember where we have been, we remember salvation history for all humanity.  Our memory should serve the virtues of Faith and Hope.   Imagination can serve the virtue of compassion and future opportunities for grace, and avoidance of sin.  For instance, remembering a certain situation tends to illicit anger in my heart and my imagination tends to go where it shouldn't go.  If I expect a similar situation in my future, I can Anticipate making a conscious effort to call on the Holy Trinity to adjust my behavior, "SAVE ME, Jesus give me a new perspective." or avoiding all together occasions of sin. 


So how do I apply the MIA of my mind?  Jesus come with me and transform my interior to be sacred!   Christopher West, scholar of the JPII Theology of the Body, expanded my view of what Jesus meant when he told us that He came not to abolish the law, but to fulfill it. Christopher tells us that it would be insane to make a specific law "thou shalt not murder your wife." most people don't need that law, because they have no desire to murder their wife.  So too, Jesus came to FILL our hearts with Him, that we have no desire to lust, or steal or break any commandment!   What a beautiful thought.  I know this to be true for me for many of the commandments.  There are some things I do not desire to do at ALL!  I never feel the need to steal.  I believe God will provide all my needs. But I do have to be very careful with time and events.  I have to check myself, am I trying to steal time or attention from moment to moment from others. 

MIA comes to the rescue. Jesus call to mind when my imagination running wild, leaving me in fear and doubt, anxious and afraid?  What, when and where, Jesus,  am I not allowing you to fill my heart?  Where do I live in doubt of your providence, your love, and your mercy? Let me see where I need to clean/ surrendering to you the interior of my soul and allow you to remain there transforming it to Sacred Space in which you wish to dwell.  Make it my habit Jesus that you dwell in my imagination in Faith Hope and Love.



Death: Potential for Living

The pictures I post here are a sampling of souls who have gone on before us.  With every "See you in a while." I have been profoundly reminded how Spiritually wealthy we would all be if we surrendered to the formative graces offered us in each passing. Saints and saints, and angels surround us always, but when someone dies, in our vulnerable grief we turn our thoughts and hopes toward the window of eternity, in many cases the turning toward that window infuses us with hope.  

Dave's Aunt Doris and Uncle Kelsey

Several years ago we went to the memorial celebration of Dave's Uncle Kelsey.  We did NOT know this family very well.  We went to visit them one weekend around 1993 and only saw Doris and her son once again when Dave's Mother passed. We knew this family was VERY special and didn't want to miss Kelsey's memorial celebration.  Doris was still alive when Kelsey passed, though she was experiencing some dimentia.  I will never forget gathering with Kelsey's family and friends.  It was beautiful!  Heaven is tangible in moments like these family gatherings when everyone takes a a few hours of "Awe" in honor of the image of God; in this case it was Kelsey, who goes before us into Eternity!

When Larry Salvatore died October 18, 1982, his daughter was on her knees praying and he appeared to her outside the window in a brown robe as if a Franciscan.  He told her to go tell her Mother, Ramona, that he was risen.  Later the Lillies outside that window bloomed.. in late fall.

All of us felt renewed with hope, our loss was turned to rejoicing.

When family members are materialist, it can get ugly and various deformative ways.  Charles Dickens portrays ugly in A Christmas Carol.; the women are discussing the fine bed linens that have been stripped off Scrooges bed, still warm.    I have suffered that kind of death too.  Not that I have known a Scrooge, I knew those women.  One cousin I will leave un-named, spent the time the family was at the funeral and reception, stripping my Grandmother's apartment.  She had begun while Grandma was still alive in the hospital.  Things that she didn't have time to cart away, she stripped of the name written on the bottom of the item my grandmother wished the item to go to.  Funny that my other Grandmother wrote names on things too.  I guess it is a tradition or something.

When family members refuse to grant the wishes of the deceased, it is an act of unlove, disrespecting the freedom God gave the person in life, in their death.  It aborts a good will that could have been extended to make up for something unknown in life.  It hurts the whole community, that one good will could have led to many others.    In Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre, Jane's Aunt almost went to her grave with a lie that would have prevented the Will of an Uncle of Jane's to be carried out.  The Aunt fessing up, united Jane to her cousins through Jane's generosity.  Her Aunt was so willful in life, it was a miracle that she let go of the secret near death. 

My Dad took us by the hand and showed us how to behave when we were close to death.  My mother had leukemia and he gathered us together to pray the rosary for several weeks on Friday nights.  It brought our family together in a way we had not known since we were very young. My parents divorced when I was five.  Dad was awesome and gave us life and hope with the gift of prayer.

My mother died with a lot of collections that ended up being dispersed amongst the family.  And then passed around over the years. A lot of it was a burden that we had to unload to charity, I was young and didn't know how to plan for the future.   It was a time consuming project.  I don't want my children to go through that process when I die. 

When my mother in-law was very sick, I wanted to be with her as she died, but I had a 9 week old child and didn't think I could get away for that event.  I had a premonition of when I should return after a visit, and I wish I had begun to plan for it right then. She did indeed die two weeks after we had visited her. For the family left behind we were so happy to be gathering together.  It was a beautiful time.  Many of us took advantage of the Confessional that Fr. Rory Pitstick opened up before Mass.  It was wonderful to see so many make use of it before receiving communion.   A few months later much of the family gathered to say goodbye to Dada.  The same love, and mercy surrounded us then.

After the death of one of my Maternal Uncles, the last remaining Aunt of the family suggested we stay for the reading of the will.  I didn't think we needed to do that, but my sister felt we should.  The lawyer who read it to us told us that she had only seen a reading of the will done in movies.  It felt like a movie.  My Uncle had no children of his own but loved the nieces and nephews that he was able to get to know, and left them each a generous gift.  My sister, brother, I and 7 other cousins were gifted.

I have a lot of stories...I am thinking of them because the recent death in the paternal side, we will be gathering as a family again for a Rosary and funeral Mass.  I am looking forward to another view into the window of eternity.  Joy!



Fr. Adrian van Kaam Spring 2007 with partial class of 2008.



French Children Eat EVERYTHING! 
Manners in the Mannino House vs. Attachment Parenting

 

We have been struggling with manners for a long time.  Last weekend a visiting, beloved family member got the "What are you doing here?" usually saved for the (feigned unwelcome) male visitor in the convent, but had become an ugly habit.  I have been telling myself "I have no control over their free will." Love and logic doesn't work if you don't have a reasonable measure of either.  I am now picking myself off the floor of shame and dusting myself off with the help of Karen Le Billon, who  has experienced her share of embarrassment over her attachment to emotion based parenting.

Karen Le Billon's book showed up in our library probably a year ago when her book was first published.  I ignored it on the "new shelf", thinking as I passed it, "I am so done discussing food, or thinking of ways to get the family to eat it all."   After Sunday night I went to the library via the Internet and one  of the "manners" books that came up on my subject search was this one.  I put it on hold just to look.

Karen and her husband Phillipe moved their family to France for a year.  Her daughters; Sophie and Claire are picky eaters.  Karen is committed to 'attachment parenting', which gives more value to a child's inquisitiveness and choices than to the practicality of eating what is put in front of you.   I have been in this category of parenting styles since Clara was born, 22 years ago. 

She journals her movement from indulgent/authoritarian, to firm, gentle, authoritative EATER, then parent.   My story is not her story, but I was raised in "North America" as well.  She hails from Vancouver BC, and posits that our culture in North America is obsessed with food.  Either fighting to control our eating habits or indulging them; using food as a toy, entertainment, reward or emotional consolation.  I was raised this way!   In France, it seems that Parents find their ground in the culture of food.  It is sacramental, nourishing the body and the soul by the rhythm by which it is received;  when, where, how and why, dictate the rules in the training of the stomach. We discover relaxation, joy, and communion with one another through the practice of respecting this rhythm. The celebration of life at the table inspires civility in the family, naturally.     Tonight we have my favorite meal, (Tai Turkey burgers)  I don't know how everyone else is going to behave, or enjoy, but I am looking forward to the experience and the practice of being a firm, gentle, authoritive parent at the dinner table and beyond!  Thank you very much Karen.  I will post more on this later.

We have a Pope, ever new and ever fresh! The rejoicing is a kin to the birth of a baby into a large family. A new and unique image of God for the world to see, know and reflect on.

LENT 2013

Our Beloved Benedict XVI announces his retirement. The end of life witness that JP II modeled for us… I foolishly thought that was how all Popes should handle the end of his life. "Be our Papa till you die Holy Father." Every life has a different message and Pope Benedict XVI is no more valuable than JPII.

For our Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI will be living the life that can be freely chosen, or imposed. Fr. Marciel LC, for instance was sent away at the order of Pope Benedict, to live a life of prayer and penance for the sexual affairs he had while the founder and head of the Legionaries of Christ. But Pope Benedict chooses it freely for love of the Church. He chooses to impose on himself a life of silence, prayer and penance, for the implementation of Vatican II

And then Pope Francis is elected! Oh HAPPY DAY!!!! For the puzzle comes together.

Pope Francis is the witness to POVERTY!!!

 

Just as John Paul II Witnessed to Chastity through his Epic work Theology of theBody; Male and Female He Created Them

 

Benedict XVI witnessed to the Church Obedience to the Will of God through his beautiful Encyclicals: Charity in Truth, Saved by Hope, and God is Love, as well as through his life of self imposed prayer and silence. These are the evangelical counsels of the Catholic Church. Of course all of them are witnessed to uniquely in each of our beloved Popes. Yet I hope the world will remember them by their unique witness to these Evangelical Counsels; not just for Religious, but for the lay as well.

In 2008, I graduated from Epiphany Association's Epiphany CertificateProgram in the Science of Formative Spirituality. The first course was a thorough examine of these Evangelical Counsels. Humanness, distinctively human behavior, is dependent on these counsel/virtues. The alternative life style of grasping at Godlikeness, Freedom FROM Love and Responsibility summed up in the “I did IT MY Way” attitude, only leaves a trail of tears.  

My Personal Lenten Resolutions in light of this reflection:

I have a Facebook account. I spend a lot of time with it. As a member of the human race, I have a bottomless pit desire for knowledge; information. I want to know it all. I also desire to be ‘In the know’ about the popular topics and discussions of the day. But as Adrian van Kaam has made clear, that is impossible in this life. The surest way to know It ALL, is to know the Holy Trinity! But on Face book I grasp at the news, and feel sick most of the time. I think with my 2 cents I can make a difference in someone's errant view. So silly.... It does not ever bring me closer to that Holy Trinity;The ALL and the only person to satisfy my greatest longings. Come to think of it, Facebook has been an attempt to fill ALL those longings. I have heard people tell me that Facebook attempts to satisfy the need to be approved of, (to be "LIKED") to know, and to satisfy our need for being the top dog. Getting the last word, competing with others in work and leisure in the way we share our every day events.

Poverty:My Lenten fast was to let go of my Attachments to FB. To acknowledge my poverty of time, I only have a limited amount and I don't desire to throw any of it away. How else do I express that I am not God in my time, talents, and material assets. How do I express that God alone should be my source through the virtue of Poverty? Can I be silent in the world of too much noise, too much information?

Chastity Can I love those in my formation field without objectifying them in any way? Loving them for who they are and not for what they can do for me?

Obedience; am I listening to the movements of my heart, do I listen when God is trying to tell me how infinitely he loves me? Do I rest in it in order that HE is able to Order my heart to his Love Will?

Is my every day filled with the gift and receptive dispositions that are required to live a life in with and through Christ? What does that look like that my children can see and be at peace with the rhythms of the every day in consonance with time and matter?

So far it has been the best lent of my life!

O my Jesus.....begins the  Morning offering that my husband and I say every morning together.
O my Jesus...through the Immaculate Heart of Mary....we Pray this morning.
I offer you my prayers....I had just completed a vigil beside the bedside of my Uncle Hugh.
Works... I washed dished and threw together a meal (Dave had fixings for tacos) for my Aunt in an hour of what we thought was the end of our night.
Joys.... the color of his skin improved in the beginning of his stay in ICU.
Sufferings.... my Uncle bled and while conscious he was in a great deal of pain. My Aunt's heart was breaking, her son battled the with cheering on his beloved father, and letting him go, and I started out my Friday with a sinus headache/migraine. The night was full of reminders that it wasn't over, .
of this day.....a 30 hour one.
for the intentions of your Sacred Heart......
In union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world......our Lord through the consecrated hands of the priests changes ordinary bread, and ordinary wine, into the flesh and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, and then Jesus in our bodies, transforms our hearts and minds and wills to be more like His own. What ever we bring Him, "weather too much, or too little" as Fr. Semple says. he transforms and transcends our offerings.
in thanksgiving for your favors.....innumerable
in reparation for my sins....innumerable
for the intentions of my family and friends....innumerable through out the ages...
and in particular for the Holy Father; Pope Benedict the VI
Amen

Our Father....To remind me God provides what we need...
Hail Mary...when no one can bring comfort but the Mother of us all, the New Eve.
Oh Jesus.....When the mystery is so unfathomable, darkness is the night in a room that is so light there is no rest.
Jesus...When there is nothing left to say
Jesus, Mary Joseph...I love you save souls....when death seems near at hand
Saints and Angels greet him....

Six o'clock in the morning and my Uncle had moved from time to Eternity, leaving us behind.  We cry and rest and be with...and without. 

Why is it that the 'hit to the kidneys' Uncle Hugh experienced in his illness seemed to hit us too when we experience the death of someone we love.  We are united, even when the relations are not immediate.  A week earlier a friends child took his own life at the age of 23.  We feel sick, so sick. The green experienced is a motion sickness from the weight of the soul rocking the boat as it leaves unexpectedly and with such violent force.  being present or not, at a natural death or sudden illness has all kinds of disruptive rocking as well.  The tug and release of our own wills on the life of our beloved as we struggle with the soul's free agency and will of our Creator and time.   It can get pretty choppy in those waters. 

Jesus...I say as I drift off to sleep......I have pain in my hip and I dream of bleeding and death...Why? I ask in my sleep is the hip pain so familiar and relational to my now?  the question is unanswered in my sleep.  Uncle Hugh died of complications from a bleeding hip, after surgery to clean staph infection in his artificial joint.  I wake up green in the gills, remembering my dream and my now. 

I get up to start the real  time offering, not just the prayer, of my new days prayers, works, joys and sufferings of the every day.  I am believing that I can even have and every day!!!.... I clean the freezer....busy with all kinds of every day chores around the kitchen and laundry....and I feel more green.  Though truth be told the color has returned to my skin.  I can not go on.

I retreat to my bed and have a good cry.  I think of conversations past that relate to this event.  This is not just about the loss of Uncle Hugh.  Every death brings with it a re-living of those ties that bind us with all the common relations we have with the one who leaves us.  The willfulness, will-lessness, and the willing-ly loving of those still here.... and those who are gone... and the soul who just departed.  All of that re-living, like watching an Imax movie full of motion and emotion in the depths of our consciences. Some of the seeing is done with closed eyes, don't make me look at that God.  And so we don't see as we live out the roller coaster experience of loosing a loved one.  But our bodies know when we are up or down on choppy waters.  We can add to the value of eternity for all.  Soon we begin a new a new day.

 O my Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary I offer you my prayers, works, joys and sufferings of this day, for the intentions of your Sacred Heart, in union with the Mass offered throughout the world, in thanksgiving for your favors, in reparation for my sin, for the intentions of my relatives and friends and in particular for the Intentions of our Holy Father; Benedict the XVI.

Washing Dishes, Window or Mirror

This is my new arrangement where I spend a lot of my life washing the dishes. I have lived in many homes in my life, 14 moves, 13 different homes. The best arrangement, I thought, was the sink facing any window in the kitchen, 9 of the homes I lived in had this feature.  In my home, that would mean that I could keep an eye out on my children in the back yard.  I do anyway... but I have always thought that the sun shining on my dishes and being able to see the world; the "beautiful day in the neighborhood" would be ideal. 

The mirror in this arrangement is only from 2 to 5 years old. We used to have a penny farthing ornamental bicycle with a mirror within it.  It was small. I liked to be able to see behind me, but I always had to move my head to see more than my face.  It is nice to have a conversation with my back to others and be able to look into their eyes.  The new mirror allows that to happen.

My sister gifted me with the vases in the picture.  I recently learned about the plants that survive on air and an occasional watering. I couldn't wait to find some to grace the wall.  This new beauty prompted more contemplation of the original discontentment over the placement of the sink in this kitchen.  It seems to me that all kitchens should have this feature, don't those who build homes know that the most basic of every day things, like washing dishes, needs an extra cosmic epiphanic perk.  (Cosmic Epiphany: God revealed in all of Creation.) We need to see outside while we wash.

Back to complaining... I mean more contemplation while doing the dishes.  I don't get to see the wider world while I wash.  When I looked up I could see my eyes and sorrow.  I was tired and not well.  Dave can always tell when I am getting a headache by looking into my eyes.  I see it too when I am not having vision problems, another symptom of a migraine coming on. Fr. Adrian came to mind.  His constructs for Formation Science and the fields of formation; wider world mondial, intra, inter, and situational fields.   When I wash dishes, I don't have the wider world to contemplate, unless I turn on the radio.  But I do have my own face to read.  Is it full of joy? Is it ill? Is it worried, and what about?  Is it too scary for David Jr. because I am mad? Is it old? Uncared for?  Tonight I was washing dishes around 5:00 before Dave was expected home and my hair wasn't coiffed.  So I stopped what I was doing to turn on the curling iron.

Several days ago, I contemplated the weary face and looked with a critical eye at the OTHER arrangements in my kitchen that make me flustered, the things that if a friend came in to the house to care for any of us, she would be lost in my kitchen.  It would make anyone tired to work here!   Could those arrangements be remedied?  Yes they can!   They have been remedied.  At least the ones I have identified so far.  The kitchen sink will probably never be moved to the window.  I may someday have a bay window where the one we have is.  But it doesn't matter.  I think I need to let go of the resentment for the builders and appreciate that I can take my own attitude inventory with the view on the wall where I do my dishes.  What other time of the day is that done?  God knows what I need and it seems He doesn't think it was ever important for my sink to be on the South wall facing out.  The interior wall where I could look in and have the intra-formational conversation with Him is all that is necessary.   Thank God for the bigger view and always, for a new gratitude.  It is about time I let go of that resentment. It makes me blind, and could add to my migraines.

Brave?

My girls believe the conflict in Brave was faulty.  They feel Pixar was lazy choosing the old "I want the freedom to love when I am ready, and with whom I should be married."  It is old and overused in many princess stories. I disagree and would posit that this very conflict in the progressive princess stories have shaped and formed a perception of how to find "true love" for good or bad.  I would like them to rethink their formation stories and examine this dynamic for the more than romantic love.

Snow White was saved by a prince, Cinderella the same.  Parents were not around to care for, or arrange the best for these two princess'.  Sleeping Beauty progresses to caring parents who shelter their only child in the forest to protect her from evil, so that they can provide for her later.  Setting her up to continue their traditions with the union of their daughter with another royal family.    The Princess meets her betrothed unbeknown to either of them and there is a conflict for a short time. Evil interrupts and misunderstandings cause more problems and the fight is on for good to triumph.  In my estimation it is not JUST love, but the good of the Kingdom. Two lovely families are able to continue the tradition of goodness beauty truth and transcendence (at least that is what we hope) extended to the next generation.  

The next Princess movie, Ariel, the conflict is more serious.  Ariel wishes to abandon her own body as a Mermaid and become human. She is so obsessed with something she is not, that she turns to evil to get what she wants.   In the Hans Christian Anderson story of the Little Mermaid, the Mermaid moves from her own wants to the sacrifice of her own life for her beloved.  She does not get what she WANTS.   She does NOT live happily ever after in new skin, but becomes seafoam.

Belle/Beauty comes next, she is self possessed and wants the 'more than this provincial life'.  She has 'thinking' and wants more than serving a man who doesn't even notice her outside of his own wants and uses.  Love is more than utilitarian objectification and appearances. True Love makes the world Beautiful, it is not selfish or rude.  This story is Beautiful and True!

Aladdin, another story where the mind of the Princess is made up, her vision of who she wishes to marry is in opposition to tradition. Aladdin makes a few mistakes, but his heart is good we are to believe.  He is handsome and funny too.  In the end this modern version sends the couple on a tour of the world on the magic carpet, they may or may not get married... who knows.

Pochantas, this fairy tale revising history makes John Smith out to be the student of life and love.  Pocahontas is his teacher.  The Judeo/Christian influence; how we know what it is to appreciate life and live in with and through the Source of all Love is absent from this fairy tale, though these very virtues are present, they are sourced in a New Age sprituality. Not Pocahantas' history.

Mulan's familial love drives her to war and we find that love and friendship can be found when we are doing the right thing for others.  Mulan suffered a great deal for her father and her country.  "You don't find a girl like that in ever dynasty." 

Tiana's story is the story of  determination and hard work,  ambitions for self preservation, of dreams, sensual pleasure and power. In love and family/neighbor united we find our fulfilled purpose and being.  Tianna has part of the story, but she struggles with the less temporal part of her purpose.  The love responsible for existence, man and wife. 

The reason I bring up these past Princess's is because at the heart of our human story is the desire to find that love, and embrace the 'circle of life'.  FAMILIES have been part of that process from the very beginning, and conflicts are the heart of stories. At the heart of EVERY conflict is one 'want/will' in conflict with another 'want/will'. "Narration is Formation", we move from, through, to...will conflicts. For Instance from a willfulness or will-lessness to a love-will expressed in willing to surrender to the transcendent values of goodness, truth, justice, beauty and being.  We hope to sift the truth from a good story.  Some times we get it wrong.   Sometimes the stories that told are retold to fit a political agenda, as in the case of Alandin and Pochantas, and sometimes they are just written with the days ideals built into them. Jasmin and Tiana.   These Princess stories have formed hearts and minds for several generations now.  I feel a bit angry because I fear that the ultimate message is the message of embracing the circle of life, human existence, is LOST!  and what girls are aiming for is "Finding  what I want in that ONE TRUE LOVE, or my dreams first, Prince second. Oh and I do this on my own." Even for the child raised in good faith and who searches for God's will..... family is not part of that decision making.  Autonomy here.   Brave is the ultimate in that individual, self made man/woman idealism.  

In Brave one Blogger has this to say.

"If there is a moral to this story, I don’t think it’s about squashing rebellion or pleasing authoritarian parents. It’s not even really about compromise: in the end, Merida gets what she wants. She doesn’t have to get married unless she wants to. Brave is about a mother and daughter learning to see each other as individuals."

Everyone needs to know who they are, it is part of the human condition to journey to union with the Creator who made us. In relationship to the Holy Trinity we find THE ONLY answer to the question, "For what purpose did you make me?"  "Please God, Tell me who I am?" Yet That journey to find our purpose is filled with testing our fields of formation. A journey of integration, and differentiating NEVER ends.   It is not done just once in early adulthood, but is a cycle we continue through our lives, hopefully bringing us closer and closer to the Holy Trinity.   

Even so, the hardest relationship to sort this out with, I dream to be the easiest, but seems to be the most difficult. Psycologists have concluded that when this conflict with parents is not resolved, it stilts maturing, likened to the stuck disposition of an alcholic.   Every human being is the only one that will be held accountable for listening to that voice of God and responding for fulfilling their own unique mission in the world. What would have been Brave, would have been Merida appreciating love, and some sort of connection to that circle of life. EVEN if it is one she has yet to know, a clear understanding that she will accept her mission to contribute to the world in some meangingful way. Single or married, but with determined purpose.  Something 'more than' "I want my freedom!" For TRUE freedom comes from Love and Responsibility to self and others, the past the present and the future.

Sacred Space the Key to Being Original

When I was in grade school, we were encouraged to make a space in our homes for Jesus.  "A prayer corner; the best being in a closet." That may be a common element of Catholic School education, it seemed that some teachers, religious or lay, were better at communicating this necessity than others.  When Dave and I were first married, Dave took the first 4 days of our married life to put paneling on a prayer ROOM.  It soon became a room to house all the baby things, but we always had a space to pray.

Over the years the "prayer corner" has disappeared, we just used the space we had available. A chair near the door, one near the fireplace, and now in our bedroom. The idea of "Sacred Space" has expanded.

Three weeks after our wedding, my mother died.  Several months later, I had inherited the mess of her collection of things in her home.  Some useful: washer and dryer, some not, all her business suits, sizes 8-12. It took me a while to figure out that I needed to make a trip to St. Vincents and just unload. 

After Clara was born, 1991, I decided my housekeeping really needed a savior.  I found that savior in Sandra Felton.  She authored several books that spoke to the messy interior that was me.  Then I had a friend that kept an immaculate house.  I was inspired to create a Sacred Space, and over the years I have expanded on that space. 

When our lives are in a constant stream of stimulation we have no time to rejuvenate. Rejuvenation is so important, God gave us a commandment about it built into our week that counts the passing of time. We need to take time...... we get to make the space, or better said, 'respect the time and space given to us!'


This space was inspired by a friend who was "Practically Perfect 24/7"

Sometimes it is easiest to start with the external life, making order on the outside so that one may want to go inside. And other times, the internal has to be cared for and collected so that we can work with what we have on the outside, and sometimes God graces us with the motivation to do the every day.... while we visit inside.  But always, it is God's love and Grace that aids us in our knowing where we are and where He wants us to be with Him.  Maintaining, building, speaking or listening or being still.  

The internal Sacred Space takes a lot of courage to maintain. People, things, events, all call attention away from the quiet. Calling attention away from what is right in front of my face, what God has purposed me for from all eternity. When I maintain Sacred Space in my environment, as well as my mind and heart, it is possible to hear appreciatively the purpose God has given for me in the time and space He has placed me in.  No one else has been given the task that was gifted to me.  Even if it is to do the dishes, that job is mine and I can be with God inside while I do those dishes. This purpose is original, unique and God needs me.  How can I say "no"?  My "no" comes from comparative thinking, curious looking about into the wider world formation field of presence; simply put, obsessing over a news periodical or a  FaceBook obsession.  ACTUALLY, there is a distraction in EVERY field of Formation. Every person is his own formation field and every person caries with him/her spheres and dimensions and ranges within that field.  I have got to get a handle on reverencing what God has created in me so that I can see when I am out of order in any of those fields and dimensions.   The internal question for the rest of this week of everyday is, "What is the distraction of this moment Lord? is it an internal coercive worry, is it an global cause or concern, is it a situational event I have no control over?  Have I accepted my life as it is at this moment? Can I just love what is right here, right now, caring and reverencing You Jesus in the everyday things of my life, events you have allowed and the people who you have gifted me with? 

Ultimately I don't want to be so unfocused that I can't answer His promptings with a joyful "Yes."  Understanding that to say 'yes' to Jesus and His unique plan for me, may be a 'no' to the popular pulsations, or a vital interest; 'just one more cup of coffee', or even a functional job I think should be mine but belongs to someone else in the family.  Hearing God seems so complicated. Yet... all he requires is that we want to hear Him.  He will answer all the other questions for me when I ask.

Ouch! The Affect of Formatitive Catholic Public Figures

It is 21012, we are in an election year.  Republican Candidates were mostly Catholic, in the beginning.  Now only one remains because Rick Santorum "suspended his campaign".  I wondered why that phrase was being used, only to find out that "pulling out" is what many who oppose him "wished his father had done" before he was conceived.  Repeating that very base comment is not pleasant for me. I found similar comments on two Facebook wall posts this morning.  It isn't obvious to those who would post such an awful comment, that shedding light on their own vile selfish practices does not make the acts attractive or acceptable.  "The family jewels are mine and I will not, do not want to... gift them to the world and I wish everyone else would just waste the same. Don't tell me not to enjoy them anyway."  ICK!!!!  

When a voter who is attached to selfishness in the forms of artificial; deathly coercive forms of birth control, see an image of Senator Rick Santorum, the picture above is what they see.  (Not that "pulling out" is deathly, but it certainly says "no" to the God who created them and invited us in joy to bear fruit and multiply!) Santorum's life is a contrast to their own, a contrast they don't want to see. He calls them out unwittingly, it makes them mad.   They take in Santorum's image through the filter of their own known selfishness.  "Ultimately, the candidate [I vote for] has to protect my right to seek pleasure where I choose to seek it."

Rick Santorum stands for "the More Than" pleasure.  He stands for responsibility.  Libertarians want to promote and protect pleasure seeking avenues thinking that if everything is legal; drugs, prostitution, sodomy, what ever, we wont have so much crime..? or something.  The ire is awakened when a man comes on the scene who lives a life opposed to libertarian views, his is happiness is rooted in traditions that nurture the dignity of the human person, not it's self centered pleasure seeking ways.  

It's about time that the foundation of our civilized society is examined! What are our presuppositions about the human person? What is our attitude about the future, do we welcome life? Is the human being a burden or an image of God; potential Faith Hope and Love?  If the ultimate attitude is "I love my kids BUT don't give me any more God, I must deny you my reproductive potential because I am done."  *** The ultimate belief is.... "human beings are a burden that I can not carry."   As if God intended you to carry the fruit of your married love from the moment of conception to the dying day of that fruit, on your shoulder!!! How preposterous!  The events and political figures of this day are forcing us to examine and speak like we have never done before.  Crass personalities can not get by with degrading statements without conservative voices answering, or reflecting back how crass and undignified the meaning and consequences of those statements are.  A Joyful dignified life demands that we give answer; shedding light on the darkness we must!

*** I am not referring to a prayerful attitude evaluating gifts and limitations and determining that adding to the family is not a wise direction, there fore abstinence is the temporary direction for fertile times, I am talking about the man or woman who wishes to indulge without inviting God's creative potential into the union.

I would rather contemplate Santorum's faith/practice in the dignity of the human person, than share in the pleasure seeking affection for humanity, that the men below possessed.