Fine Tuning my EARS for Jesus!

This morning, I woke up and did not hear God tell me that He wanted me to live Through Him, With Him, and In Him. Or maybe I wanted to hear Him tell me He wanted to live through me, with me and in me.  :(

After practicing some French...in bed.  A trip to Facebook, and then the store, the washing machine and outside to hang things....breakfast with Dave...and then I remembered and went back to bed.

I looked at the Crucifix on our wall.....and the ceiling made of 2 inch wide boards I sanded over 6 times to prepare for installation. Then the Crucifix again.  I opened my Magnificat , and began to say my morning prayers.  I find it is St. Benedicts feast day. The man of Prayer, Work and Study. His Rule says "get up in the morning when you open your eyes".  Among other things.   Oh.....I look at the crucifix again.    Jesus was available for me at 6:30, and again at 8:00. The 8:00 appointment could have happened at three different parishes all within a 5 minutes of my home.  Not only would I have heard it, I would have been given the physical means for accomplishing this Great Mystery. 

Last summer, a priest told me I needed to believe that God loves me.  How does one do that?  It isn't a doing thing.  It is a being very interior and in fact I think Quiet!  I lay there now looking at the boards I sanded full length one summer, only to have to do it again the next, after they wintered outside.   How do I really love you God.  By being available? ...being with?....saying so?.....giving service to others?....gifting others with time talent and needed, and not so needed material goods?  

Faith....Hope...Love.... I don't feel loved right now.  I don't feel important or needed.  I feel "in the way".  It doesn't matter what I feel.

I would like David to believe me when I tell him he needs to eat.  I would like him to believe me so much that he can stomach things he believes to be icky to him.

I would like it if only..... Oh there is the "IF ONLY..." Fallacy!  Caught you Satan. 

"I can TRUST YOU Jesus!" "I Can quietly believe that you love me and that all things will work out!"  Not to, would be foolish, it is a beautiful day in the neighborhood!!