Shuffling Sibling Dynamics

We have a small home. 950 square feet (with a basement) is probably a LOT to many who live anywhere other than the US, but for 8 people and a bike mechanic, it is small. We have three rooms upstairs, one is a library; books computers and lots of us work here. One small bedroom holds two of the girls and another holds three on account of a lovely bunk bed. So there are several formative stories here. One is the dynamics of the sibling's, the other is trusting in time and space. Another, attached to the differences in personality; how do we resolve conflict as a community, accepting the differences and adjusting to this great gift of originality that the individual imago Dei is. This last is VERY big. I really want my girls to walk out of the house knowing how to do this.
Several days ago, my Karen informed me that she was feeling bad for her 6 year old sister because her roommate was stressed and my 6 y.o. wasn't getting what she needed to rest at night the way a six year old should. I agreed. Dave and I have never been parents with children who have an early bedtime. Dave works retail getting home later, the girls have never needed to get up for school so I like them to be up when Dave is available. But now, the "social-historic Sphere is different", We have three in college, and Maleny needs sleep and so do they. So we decide to shuffle rooms to change the dynamics.
Did I mention that we just did this in April when our floors were refinished. With that in mind one 12 year old did not like the prospect of going back into her old room. Clara was confused and tells me she wants to get this figured out, she took "Stress Management", but I think she should have taken it with Maleny. ; ) Next semester she will be taking Pych. 101. I am sure they will not be covering van Kaamian "phasic formation". We decided it was best if Cecilia, the 12, shared the bedroom with Karen, the 20. Clara, wanting to learn how to handle her stress and 6 year old sister at the same time, will be in a room with Dana, who works with children, of both ages, and who is not only good at it, she gets paid for it.
MALENY GETS A BUNK BED!!! Oh how we did not know how much this child needed to be trusted with something like a bunk bed, top bunk! I told her in order to get the bunkbed, she must sign a contract that stated she would follow a bed time. She needed to begin getting ready for bed around 8:00 and be in bed at 8:30. Any arguments would put her on the bottom bunk. She has been so happy with her new arrangement. It has been several days and the first day she was in heaven, to the irritation of Cecilia. Differentiation/Integration..change, for ever change, such is life.

Christmas Cards and Rolling Eyes

I love to get Christmas Cards from friends and relatives that are the newsletter type. I even save them for years, a habit I must break or get them in that years photo album. Sometimes when the mailman has brought a lot, I am unhappy that I don't have time to spend with them. They get set aside for a quiet moment. These Christmas letters refresh me. Sometimes they are full of activity, telling me everything that has gone on in the persons family. It is a phenomena of the times. In the West, "we are what we do". I wonder if the family understands that they are more than what they do. Yet the wondering doesn't keep me from enjoying their doing, to the fullest. I am in awe of the creative energy that is expended in each persons life. I can imagine most times that the activity was done in faith hope and love.

I have this inconsistency of thought. I enjoy Christmas Card newsletters from others but when I write one, my girls roll their eyes. So my memory of the eye roll cripples my ability to let go and do the same. I don't really want to tell everyone what we are doing, all the activity is somewhat embarrassing to me. Why is that? I don't get it? I have done less this year. NO running the kids around to do Christian Youth Theater, no extra drives to music lessons. I am learning what concerns are really part of my "life call" and what are strivings from the pressures of this culture. I have to consider carefully the "life call" of my children as well and that can be tricky because they have a way of pressuring mom too. How to be true to the person God is calling me to become and be, and my children to, is an art form.

With that said I wrote a Christmas Card this year, Dave edited all my Formation Science language, the 'eye rolling' material. It is hard to take. So I followed his advise and took all that stuff out. Then we talked. I really don't believe people want to know about me, Dr. Muto might say that is false humility. We came up with this solution. This blogging forum is perfect for people like me. If you WANT TO KNOW, or have the TIME, you can CHOOSE to read and I don't have to know. I do not impose myself on your mailbox. So false humility or not. I can write my Christmas Card, sign it with my blog-site, and give the loved ones the option if they wish to visit me anonymously. My family is not embarrassed about what I say, because it didn't hit your mailbox. If you type into your browser my blog, you asked for it. I hope your heart lays down as mine does when I read your letters, but if it doesn't, that is ok too. Life is so beautiful in my house, my greatest hope is that you too share this joy in yours. We aren't perfect, we are living this journey in hopes of greater unity with the Holy Trinity; Father, Son and Holy Ghost, one day at a time. Just like the rest of humanity.
In anticipation of my next epiphany, seeing Jesus in you,
Rhonda

Karen's Trapeze Artist / Floating; Relaxed Prescence

Karen Mannino  "From Trapeze to Trapeze"
12/05/2007

From Trapeze to Trapeze

By Karen Mannino

From trapeze to

To Trapeze, in the hush that 

That follows the drum roll's sudden pause, through

Through the startled air, more swiftly than 

Than his body's weight, which once again

Again is late for its won fall.

Solo. Or even less than solo,

Less, because he's crippled, missing 

Missing wings, missing them so much

That he can't miss the chance

To soar on shamefully unfeathered

Naked vigilance alone.

Arduous ease,

Watchful Agility, 

And calculated inspiration. Do you see

How he waits to pound in flight; do you know

How he plots from head to toe

against his very being; do you know, do you see

how cunningly he weaves himself through his own fromer shape

and works to seize this swayiing world

by stretching out the arms he has conceived- 

beautiful beyond belief at this passing at this very passing moment that's just passed.

Karen just wrote an essay and created a portrait of a trapeze artist inspired by a poem. This was an English assignment. I hope she will use it in her blog.  I really like it.

I am working on an assignment that describes a "transcendent crisis" I had 5 years ago. I put it aside because I thought I may not be remembering things very well. Today I just found some journal entry's that confirmed my memory.

The assignment calls for a diagramming of my "faith traditions and form traditions";  changes my life has gone through since this crisis. I really enjoy what I am learning, finding it very applicable and exciting. I don't think my girls enjoy what I bring home, but we discuss it anyway.

Fr. van Kaam's style was to end his meditation, or maybe begin his movement with Christ, with a poem.I hope I can write a poem about a 5 year old girl, learning how to back float on the lake.   I feel like a five year old. Letting go of my functionality; fighting against the idea that I must move and do something, opposing a more relaxed pose. I must abandon myself in awe and appreciation to the Divine mystery of formation; the Holy Trinity. My contribution is the form I take in the water. I sink or float, how I desire to float! Do you remember what it is to float on the lake? To enjoy the cosmic epiphany of God's creation?  Replicating the joy of the lake floating experience  in my social field can be experienced, by appreciating the faces of others and the everyday in a relaxed manner. Not positing myself to get my way, or save myself in any given situation. . I have no anxiety about returning to my courses, I get to practice every moment.

Poem to be written later....Procrastination demon awakes.

Shall We Laugh, Cry, or Rest In the Polarity of Freedom

July 14th, Breakfast.

I sit with my daughter Maleny, just a month older than six.

Myself: Isn't it wonderful when you wake up and remember that Jesus wants to live with us, work in and through us and you can rejoice about it.

Maleny without skipping a beat and an impish giggle: Most the time we wake up and tell him to "get lost".