French Children Eat EVERYTHING! 
Manners in the Mannino House vs. Attachment Parenting

 

We have been struggling with manners for a long time.  Last weekend a visiting, beloved family member got the "What are you doing here?" usually saved for the (feigned unwelcome) male visitor in the convent, but had become an ugly habit.  I have been telling myself "I have no control over their free will." Love and logic doesn't work if you don't have a reasonable measure of either.  I am now picking myself off the floor of shame and dusting myself off with the help of Karen Le Billon, who  has experienced her share of embarrassment over her attachment to emotion based parenting.

Karen Le Billon's book showed up in our library probably a year ago when her book was first published.  I ignored it on the "new shelf", thinking as I passed it, "I am so done discussing food, or thinking of ways to get the family to eat it all."   After Sunday night I went to the library via the Internet and one  of the "manners" books that came up on my subject search was this one.  I put it on hold just to look.

Karen and her husband Phillipe moved their family to France for a year.  Her daughters; Sophie and Claire are picky eaters.  Karen is committed to 'attachment parenting', which gives more value to a child's inquisitiveness and choices than to the practicality of eating what is put in front of you.   I have been in this category of parenting styles since Clara was born, 22 years ago. 

She journals her movement from indulgent/authoritarian, to firm, gentle, authoritative EATER, then parent.   My story is not her story, but I was raised in "North America" as well.  She hails from Vancouver BC, and posits that our culture in North America is obsessed with food.  Either fighting to control our eating habits or indulging them; using food as a toy, entertainment, reward or emotional consolation.  I was raised this way!   In France, it seems that Parents find their ground in the culture of food.  It is sacramental, nourishing the body and the soul by the rhythm by which it is received;  when, where, how and why, dictate the rules in the training of the stomach. We discover relaxation, joy, and communion with one another through the practice of respecting this rhythm. The celebration of life at the table inspires civility in the family, naturally.     Tonight we have my favorite meal, (Tai Turkey burgers)  I don't know how everyone else is going to behave, or enjoy, but I am looking forward to the experience and the practice of being a firm, gentle, authoritive parent at the dinner table and beyond!  Thank you very much Karen.  I will post more on this later.